second blog

"School is one of the most important part of your lives. You go to school almost 1/3 of your lifespan. School is the key to a successful life. Your whole future depends on school. If you do bad in school then you fail at life. You drop out of school then I'm going to drop kick your butt out of my house." This is what my father says every time my father is a little tipsy. Then he says something in korean which i don't understand at all. School has been so hard for me like trying to do all my homework, trying to stay focused, trying to take notes, trying to cooperate, trying to STAY AWAKE, trying to just do good in general. For me, school is stinking hard. I can't focus, I can't do all my homework on time, I can't take notes, I can't STAY AWAKE. The only thing i do good is cooperate because I'm always at school whether I have a gazillion degree fever or swine flu or broke both my hands. I swear korean parents are all gung-ho about school. They will never ever shut up!! But for reals, I'm really worried about my future. I try so hard in school and i get like the worstest grades ever. 

I hate it when I think I did good on a test and then I get like a 33 percent on your test. That pisses me off the most because then i just feel like I'm hecka stupid. Gahhh! I hate school. I'm prolly going to just don't go to college and just live in the wilderness because that would always be fun to do. I'm going to live off of squirrels and berries, live in a hut made out of wood and animal skin,  and I'm going to live the life of natureness. I wish I could do all that but my parents would beat the shizzle out of me if I even said that. I guess I'll just try my hardest and hope I do good.

first blog

I wonder if i am a christian or not. i. I mean i really do believe in Jesus Christ and i really do believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and i really do believe in that Jesus is the son of God and i really do believe that there is a heaven and hell and i really do believe that God is real. But the problem that i have right now is that i don't behave like a christian should be behaving. I should be nice to others and love them like brothers and sisters but i don't. I should respect and obey my parents but I disobey them and disrespect them. I shouldn't swear and say god's name in vein but I swear like its a addiction to me and i say gods name in vein. I shouldn't be think about perverted things but I still do. I shouldn't be doing a lot of things and i should start doing what a REAL christian should be doing. I'm not going to lie but I have done some big mistakes during the past, like smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol. But thankfully i have stopped and I've been clean for a long time. I know its bad to do all that crap but i always get this feeling telling me to start doing it again. I don't know if its the devil that trying to mess with me or its me. Sometimes its boring to be a christian. Being all the good person and spread the word of God. But no matter how much i try, i find out that I'm the one making trouble. That I'm the one creating the trouble. That I'm the one just standing in the corner when others are spreading the word of God. AM I REALLY A CHRISTIAN?